Lonely

   I wake up on a sunny morning. The sun is shining through the shades and reflecting off my phone. My alarm goes off as soon as I sit up in bed. I look around to see the dust dancing in the sunlight and I think about having another day. 

   I wake up earlier than my mom. It’s always been a thing for me. I go to my bathroom down the hall to the right. I turn on the lights and look up to the mirror. My face is pale, my hair messy and acne covering my face. I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering what would happen if I just disappeared. I turn on the faucet feeling the cold water hit my hands and feeling the chills run down my back. I cup my hands with water and splash my face. I look back up in the mirror,staring back deep in my eyes. As water dripped slowly down my face, I grabbed the towel and dried myself off. I turn off the lights and go back to my room. 

   Passing all the pictures with my dead dad. He died in the army before I was born. Seeing him smile widely while hugging my mother. If only I knew what he was like, just for one day. I keep walking slowly to my bedroom which is down the hall to the left. I open my door and close it gently. 

   I have a calendar planned for the day I’m going to end my life. I want it to be special so I’m doing it on the day my dad died. The day of May 13th. I can’t take it anymore. My mom is always getting drunk. I always smell the cheap alcohol and the cigarettes as I pass through her room. She doesn’t pay attention to me anymore. She only cares about what could ease her pain. I get ready for school-putting on a grey hoodie with fuzz on the inside. Feeling of warmth caressed my chest. Then I put on black sweats and grey boots. I don’t like wearing bright colors. I hate being noticed by anyone.

   I can hear my mom starting to get up as she yawns loudly and you can hear the bottles breaking in her room. I slowly open my door and tiptoe down the stairs, grabbing a moldy banana and a stale cookie from one of the guys my mom dated. She hasn’t been herself ever since dad died. If only I could rewind time.

   I grab my bag and run out the door. I’m afraid to see my mom face to face, because I know that’s not really her. She has been destroyed with drugs. Now she’s a whole new person. I walk off the broken porch of my house and onto the driveway, peeling my moldy banana and slowly scraping off the brown spots. Taste of the sweet yet mushy banana. Breaking off a piece of this stale cookie. I try to bite into it but it’s as hard as a rock. I just tossed it on the road to see it get broken into pieces by this ginormous truck.

   I check my phone to see that I’m running 20 minutes late. ¨Oh my god¨ i was thinking in my head. I pull up my saggy sweatpants and run as fast as I can to school. I get up to the doors of the school, seeing the attendance office and the principal staring deep in my eyes. The principal is very strict and mean. I put my name in the book of late students and walk up to my class.

   I take two huge steps up the stairs and walk down the hall to my math class. I hate math class. It’s filled with students I don’t know. I never talk to anyone and they don’t talk to me. I feel like a ghost walking through the halls. When I open the door to the classroom, all the kids look at me. Sweat pours down my face as I rush to the back seat of the class. The teacher is teaching us algebra or something. I don’t know, I stopped paying attention a while ago. 

   I look up to see my crush, sitting one seat ahead to the left. Her hair is so shiny and lucious. The smell of her shampoo hits my nose everytime she moves her head. I want to tell her how I feel before I end my life, but I dont think it’s worth it. I look back down and fall asleep. 

   I remember my dream. I remember my dad walking up to me and saying he loves me. I remember a voice saying, “don’t end it. It’s not worth it.”

   Class ends. The teacher wakes me up and I see no other kids in the classroom. I can smell the school lunch being made. Tomatoes and noodles being boiled. The school lunches are terrible. They have no flavor and it makes me sick. But that is with most foods I guess. I never really liked most foods. All the kids would go out and go to pizzarias as I go to my room and read. Some might say I’m an outcast. That all the kids are normal and I’m just a fly on the wall. Just listening to the fun. I skipped my last class because the students there are too loud. I walked out of the building and rode the max back home. A five minute drive and I’m back home.

   I walk off the bus to see that my mom’s car is not in the driveway. She’s probably just at another bar getting drunk. As I walk through my front door, I hear a whisper in my ear. The sound is like 100 people all talking around me. The smell of gunpowder and dust burns my nose. As I walk deeper in the house and into the kitchen, at the corner of my eye I see a glimpse of a shadow. Chills run up my back. I feel myself starting to lose breath. I quickly try to grab a knife as my hand is shaking towards the drawers.

   “HELLO” it said.

   I let out a big scream. And just like that, the shadow starts to peek its head around the corner. I see blue eyes and a round face coming out of its shadow form. I  tried to scream but I felt the air leave my lungs before I could. As I try to calm down, I see the shadow coming out of its true form. Big blue eyes shining bright. A big nose with freckles all over his face. His slicked back hair and his quirky smile. I look more closely at this thing and notice something. 

   The pictures on the wall. My father and mother are smiling in the photo. I look deeply in my fathers eyes in the picture. The ghost standing right in front of me is my father. I thought I was still dreaming. Am I still in the classroom?

   I slap my face as hard as I can. Leaving my face pulsing and red. The ghost that is standing in front of me is my father. I just wanted to hug him. As I try to go in for a big hug filled with tears running down my face, he backs away. He took one big step back and just looked at me. I stopped in my place and lowered my hands slowly. “don’t you know me?” I said. “It’s me, your son.” 

   Father looked at me with disbelief. I step back slowly and run upstairs to my room. As I close the door and walk over to my bed, I stop to take a peek out my door. I see my father taking big steps up to my room. Each step I see father turning slowly into someone I’ve never seen before. 

   The slick hair turns bald. The blue eyes turned into deep black eyes. I see his nose turn pointy and sharp. His smile slowly starts to disappear and all I see through my crack door is a monster. His mouth has fully been ripped off his face. This black liquid poured out of his mouth. The smell of what used to be gunpowder and dust turns to the smell of burnt toast and rotten fish. I tried to close my eyes but as soon as he made it up the stairs, he looked at me with his black eyes. Seeing his cheeks smiling even though he has no mouth. I can see the eyes widen and the shadow around him turn to a black dress around the ghost.

   I close my door, hearing each crack on the floor grow louder and louder. I hold my breath and close my eyes. As I tried to lock the door, he’s already in my room, the feeling of coldness and the stench of fish behind me. I knew right then and there that today is the day I might die. As he was gazing into the back of my head, I slowly put my hand on the handle. 

   Turning it little by little. I feel his presence getting closer to the back of my neck. As I felt his right hand touch my shoulder, I opened the door widely and ran fast down the hall. I jumped off the stairs and ran out of the house. 

   The day gets darker as I run straight through the neighborhood. The only light I have is the bright sunset forming above my head. I turned around to see if he was following me, and there he was, phasing through the air and getting closer to me. I stop in my footsteps. Feeling the ghost halt behind me, I look up to the sky and pray to my dad. “I’m going to see you father. We’ll be together soon”.

   I look back down and turn around. The ghost lifts a big bloody hand and strikes me across my face. I fall down on the ground, painting the pavement with my blood.

   “Is that all you got?” I scream at his face. 

   He looks deep into my eyes and I see the anger built up in him. He raises his left arm,and it’s the shape of a knife. He’s Ready to kill me. I close my eyes. I get back up and open my arms. I take a deep breath and as I exhale I feel a force of warm air. 

   “Am i dead?” I ask myself. 

   I open my eyes slowly to see a bright white angel standing in front of me, with wings so big and fluffy. I see bright colors surrounding him, so  delicate yet fierce. The angel with its big sword deflect the evil ghost. The screams of pain and anger disappear from thin air. It happened so quickly I couldn’t see it. The bright colors die down and I open my eyes more. I smell  something that I’ve never smelt before. It was a smell of happiness and laughter and joy. 

   I put my arms down and look up to the angel. Its blue eyes shining bright. Its big nose and freckles all over his face. And at that moment, I knew that my father is my guardian angel. He smiled at me and I heard his voice in my head.“Don’t worry son. I’ve always been here.”

   “Dad. I missed you so much.” I say as tears begin to build up.

   “Why have you been feeling all this anger?” he said.

   “Because I miss you. I miss seeing mom happy for once.”

   “Oh son. I’m always with you and your mom.”  

   “Why was that thing after me?” I asked.

   “The ghost of pain.” he replied. “It follows the souls with anger.”

   “Dad, I’m so sorry. I wanted to just be with you. I’m so alone and I want to spend my life with someone that cares for me.”

   “You are not alone. No matter where you go, I will always be by your side.”

   Tears were running down my face as he said those last words. I open my arms and run towards my father. He opens his beautiful white feathered wings and embraces me. I can feel his warm chest pressed against my face.

   “I’ll always be with you, son.” he said.

   I feel his wings open up and let me see his bright colors follow in a trail behind his wings into the sunset. As I get back up off the ground, I wipe the blood that was covered on my face to find it’s no longer there. 

   “Thank you dad,” I said as I wiped the dust off my pants and headed back home.

   I saw my mom’s car in the driveway. I take a deep breath and walk inside. I see my mom sitting on the couch watching cartoons. 

   I take a deep breath and scream. “I LOVE YOU!”

   She looks at me, partially drunk. I can see her tears running down her face and a smile with yellow teeth. I walk over to her and give her a big hug. She smells like drinks and cigarettes, But I don’t care. 

   “I love you mom. No matter what bad stuff you do. I will be here for you through thick and thin. We will work on eachother together. Because that’s what families are for.”